cindy at 1utama last night, credits to chris

like other people have pointed out, her dad has made a worthy investment. i was all “ARE YOU SERIOUS???” on the phone after a friend told me she won. i could hear the dejection in his voice, but hell i voted for her. i was darn happy. i couldn’t wait to see all those retards out there create drama about her win (sure, these retards amuse me, i admit). yes her pictures have not been the best, yes her attitude (and her wealthy father) has made her extremely unpopular, yes she might not be the most politically-correct (ref. to the in du po/ma lai po incident) person, yes she may not be the girl with the best potential in the house… but she definitely has what it takes to survive in this industry. daddy’s wallet does not hurt.

i’m happy that she became the first malaysian dreamgirl. sure it’s sad but to be belting out obscenities is just plain reflective of the uncouth, brainless people in the world. why, does insulting cindy make you any more superior? au contraire, it makes you all the more inferior.

all those people who are scolding cindy and mdg, please get a life. first and foremost it’s a popularity sms contest which has always stated that the one to be booted out will be the one with the lowest votes every week. it is not the producer’s (or crew - poor people) fault that cindy won. sure, if jay was in top 3 i would have voted for her, but i still thought it was really unfair that she got to stay that episode. how can they just change the rules to ensure quality? it’s too late to regret your fundamental rules for the contest, dearies. but nobody gave a rat’s ass because it was jay. what if it was cindy? would you not have screamed bloody murder? talk about being fair.

again, credits to chris

cindy won fair and square. the rules say the one with the most number of sms votes win, so her family gave her support and smsed her to victory. what’s the big deal? no strings were pulled, no foul play. if this is how the game is played, how can you fault someone for playing by the rules? sure, the fundamental theory may not be as fair as one would like it to be, but if you choose to watch the show, you choose to accept however screwed up the show might be. just as you had fun watching cindy’s inner bitch, you’re having fun dissing the poor girl who is just trying to get to the top in the game. this is what models need. resilience. she knows that her blog has been given much criticism, she knows that people are bitching about her bitching (oh nooo, so not ironic), she knows that gaining fans out there is not imperative since her family can support her through the competition. but she is not affected by it at all. she thinks of how to improve/rectify situations (reopening her blog) and does not make stupid moves like evicting people who campaign for her and instead install some stupid guy to eliminate all your support. most importantly: she is not fake or hypocritical (she doesn’t do the dishes and does not pretend she does, she doesn’t like adeline and dares to say it out loud unlike hanis (who thinks jay and herself have the most potential but does not admit that the rest have lower quality. one thing i dislike about hanis is that she tries to bitch, but in a nice way (a.k.a. behind your back a.k.a. two-faced). how much more hypocritical can you get?) and jay (who only dared bitch about others after she’s out of the competition)), she knows the way to play the game and plays it well (she hams it up for the camera (c’mon girls, make good use of camera space. don’t just sit there and eat your dinner. what a waste, and what a bore for viewers)), she calls a stick a stick. she is smart and doesn’t harp much on winning the car, and knowing that the experience is what that counts (or in this case, exposure as well). this matters a lot for those who are serious to be in this line. sure, nadia is another one i like because she’s hot, and she’s bloody hardworking. but she has a one-track mind that focuses too much on the car and winning this competition. if you want to bitch, make sure it will not cause your downfall. so if you don’t have parents that will pump in 16k for you, please tone down the bitching. cindy does not have to because she knows she doesn’t have to count on fans to vote for her. i used to like fiqa but honestly? bitching about an incident where you’re obviously in the wrong is not smart. it makes you seem unreasonable and petty, but again, i like your guts.

everyone has their own favourites, and every single girl in the top 12 has qualities that have enabled them to be there (including ringo mind you). for those people who like blogs because they are straightfoward and frank and yet dislike cindy for her bitchiness, you are the hypocrite. why do people admire friendly, down-to-earth stars? precisely because bitchiness is a necessity for the entertainment industry. if you get affected by it too much, you automatically are at the end of the chain, because you allow others to determine your potential, your ability and your confidence. dear hanis, you’re much too manis to survive in this cutthroat world. and it’s not exactly like your photos shine.

there’s been nothing much of interest for me to blog about since i’ve been stuck at home all day doing nothing but watching tv shows and playing pokemon sapphire study, so i’m just going to move old posts from all over the place here. random musings, yes.

26 sept 2007, originally posted in my notes in facebook

A long time ago (we used to be friends… haha ok no), I used to wonder how it was like. I used to sit by the viewing gallery in Changi Airport (which still looks like ice-cream after all these years) and watch planes take off and soar into the sky, imagining the initial adrenaline rush, the cloud-watching and the feeling like affluent, upper-middle class people sitting watching movies while pretty air stewardesses served you drinks and smiles.

I remember when I was young, one of my ambitions was to work at an airport. No, not be an air stewardess because that didn’t pay well (I know, I was practical as a child ok… hello I’m Singaporean?) but because it was one of the places, like TV studios) that made me feel classy. I used to walk along the corridors at the local TV station, behind glamourous TV actresses who walked in heels along the glossy marble floor making those click-clack sounds that I now find so annoying. How things change. Anyway. I guess being at the airport gave me a similar feeling. I had my fill of haughty actresses and glaring cameras, and looked towards the airports instead. My friends and I used to go to the airport just for kicks. Some place to hang out. We’d have fun with the trolleys and have ice-cream at Swensen’s, or go to the library and attempt to get some studying done. Pretend to be tourists and speak in fake accents. Take the new MRT line to the airport and spend the night there, watching foreign workers lay down their mats and get awakened by the alarm at 6am. Sleep for a couple o’ hours and finding out our thick textbooks make pretty good pillows (or maybe finding out we really could sleep anywhere).

Part of the surge of going overseas was the plane ride. Short flights to destinations an hour away were always part of the draw and the lure of a holiday (which I didn’t have many of). On my first long trip (24 hours) to Canada, I was the only excited person, smiling to herself and actually listened attentively to the instructions regarding the life jackets and oxygen masks. Fast forward just a little, and the excitement of a plane flight has gone. Perhaps too much of a good thing is really plus plus equals minus. You learn to sleep through most part of the ride and let the pretty ‘jie jie’ wake you up for meals. You pick the window seats not for the views but for undisturbed reading. You go on seatguru.com to pick the seats with the most leg room. And all you think about is getting yourself occupied for the entire plane trip. There was no more gum chewing during take off (of course, not in my case), no more imagining/day dreaming, no more looking forward to actually getting some free time thinking and planning.

Well yeah, considering how Canada killed all my enthusiasm, the last point can actually be disregarded. Still, I miss it. The late nights at the airports feeling like an adult, the strolling in Narita Airport in Tokyo with a newfound friend looking for food, the smirking at a customs officer (oh this.. I was carrying a heavy box full of notes on my last trip from Detroit Airport and the customs guy didn’t let me wheel my stuff on a trolley:
Me: No, I can’t carry these on my own (points at luggage)
Customs guy: Actually, you’re only allowed 7KG for hand-carry. I also dunno why they allowed you to bring that on board. (Okay you can see that the guy’s Singaporean. & my box weighed about, what, >25KG?)
Me: Um I don’t know. Maybe because they’re so much nicer than you are? (promptly pushes trolley through and strolls off before the guy figures out what I said (I can speak like a machine gun when I want to). He’s Singaporean la, takes some time to process things. Ok yeah I get the irony.)), finding out you can charge your laptop at some airports, duty-free shopping, hanging out at airport lounges with bratty kids who never shut up (ok so you get the bad with the good)…

Now, as my peers all send out emails and notes telling people when they’ll fly off to some far-flung country, that strong sense of longing returns. Perhaps I’m not so immune to peer pressure after all. Perhaps it’s the jaded been-there-done-that-but-still-miss-it-secretly attitude. I still go to the airport, like every month now, but the feeling has changed. I know that in the next few years or so, it’ll still continue to change. It’s the classic case of “going away, finding out home is still the best, and still don’t wanna come home”. The draw of being away from home is still there. Returning to Singapore still hasn’t made me want to be here permanently. I’ve always known that I was going to be a “quitter”, in SM Goh’s words, but a part of me still thinks I will change my mind in the end. Perhaps Singapore will always be Where I come from, but never Where my heart is.

I am still intrigued by the flight (flighty? hah) business, reading Richard Branson’s biography and the latest AirAsia story, learning about Southwest’s business model, loving Changi’s new Budget Terminal… I guess the charm of the airports will always be there. Mention airport to me and I’d think of dim streetlights, red car lamps, cold rushes of air, the anticipation of somewhere foreign, hugs before going in, and tears after the departure gates.

i seriously don’t know how i managed to piss off two people in one day yesterday. no, it didn’t break my record (not proud of it!) but the two of them are really nice people; one of them being someone who has endured my wrath many a time and yet still hold nothing against me. i dunno why la, maybe pissing people off is my hobby hurhur.

i am such a stubborn cow. ok la i apologised via text to them both, and as expected, both are super nice again. don’t be so nice to me can? i don’t deserve it. but one of the replies scared me a little. don’t know what’s going on hmm.

yes, if you noticed my twitter, yes, imigresen again. this is my third trip there and now they tell me i need 1) parents’ passport and 2) their marriage certificate. wtf. last thurs when i went, they only told me i needed my birthcert, so i got my mum to dhl it over. she did not say anything about parents’ documents can. my parents are not in malaysia. i just came back from singapore on thurs. why the hell are they being so anal?! i just couldn’t help it but started tearing in the visa office. tak glam i know, but who cares. sigh. dad called the school and yes, i need the stupid visa to take my darn expensive exams and no, they cannot apply for me like all the other colleges. i remember the jb guy who charged me being very worked up at that, and in fact all the immigration officers are surprised that the school does not process my visa for me (despite claiming that they would do so in the past). see evil school yes? yes. what can i say, they’re british. anyway my mum is coming tomorrow and we’re going to butterworth again tomorrow so hopefully it works this time. if the same officers are there i bet they won’t be nice to me given that i just took the papers from them and left without saying a word. what was i to do huh? i’m sick and tired of malaysian authorities. i’m always, always, always at their mercy. don’t think i’ll be studying in kl in future. just want to get out of this place asap. (you’d understand if you know what happened to me earlier this year.) i hate going to butterworth.

this is before i even apply. there’s bound to be bumps in the process of application. probably want my spm-equivalent certs and all or something spastic. well my mum can’t find her marriage cert, so that’s one more hurdle. i don’t understand why i need the visa to take an external, international exam. retarded. i hope they issue the visa in time. i have less than two week, and i sure as hell don’t want to take the exam in november instead. i have all these plans!!!11

ok enough ranting back to bones bye bye. oh wait.. watch this; so cool and sweet. and sad. argh i’m nuts. better not talk to myself anymore.

tomorrow i leave singapore for kl where i get my visa done. suddenly i feel somewhat forlorn, and i don’t think i will stay long to do any shopping. i just want to go back to penang soon and start mugging proper. people, stop overrating me. i’m not as good as you think i am. i’ve only been in sg for three days; definitely not long enough. i didn’t get to meet up with anyone but family (except jade) and went absolutely nowhere. but seeing the family again makes me happy, but it also makes me miss them even more when i leave. it’s a case of being unable to do with or do without.

i want to write and write and write, for that secondary two fear that i will end up losing my memories, or rather, the emotions of my memories, has returned quite poignantly. welcome to zerite.net, folks. this will probably remain relatively unknown until june when i have more time and my thoughts are more or less settled. zerite has been a blog of verbosity, cryptical writings and disjointed, rambly thoughts. from now on it will try to be a little bit more bimbotic. not just my blog, but me as well. i need to be a little vainer. to be a little more egotistical. no, i don’t think you can be too egotistical.

let it begin :)