i’ve heard so much about her, known so much about her, yet i don’t really know her. and today, i got to hear her side of things. and i was floored. it’s so easy to judge people, from what someone else says, from people’s opinions of her, from the way she does things. but no matter how much you know about someone, you can never truly know him or her just through hearsay. it’s not just a single her, but so many hers, and so many hims as well. girlfriends complain about their jerks of a boyfriend, or guyfriends are frustrated because they can’t seem to figure out why girls are so demanding. you tend to side with your friend, and form your own baseless convictions about a person. today i finally understood another piece of the puzzle. she’s like water, crystal clear, strong in her own way yet so fragile that the slightest movement can upset the serenity. and oh so beautiful. but what strikes me the most is her herself.

women. how many times have you read reports on abused wives silently suffering for twelve or so years while muttering ’stupid woman’ under your breath? how can there be such silly women who don’t know how to stand up for their rights, you wonder. but looking at it from another angle, there’re some traits that i can’t help but to admire. their love, no matter how badly their SO had treated (or even are treating) them, never falters, and they continue to be there for them. remember the song “as long as he needs me” by nancy from oliver? i can never be one of those long-suffering women who willingly allow their SO to manhandle them. sacrificing everything, including every shred of pride or dignity, for a man, is not exactly smart, but their love and giving is very much admired by yours truly. it’s a love that’s pure, simple and yet stronger than diamonds. for someone to take such physical or emotional abuse, there simply has to be single-minded, concentrated love. i remember those ads saying how a ring covered up rape, and i also remember thinking how scary it is. in older days, if you were married to a man and yet didn’t have sex with him, others would mock you or maybe even haul you off to the magistrate/court for not fulfilling the duties of a wife. it’s like you belonged to the man, and you have no rights of your own anymore. but snap back to today, and in a civilised society like singapore’s, it’s still shameful to be divorced, or even press charges against your spouse. you’re subject to the pointings and glancing away of others, as well as the lashings of cowards who hide behind computer screens, and who can honestly say that these don’t hurt. it’s scary that in a not-exactly-long-ago past, wives were still expected to be like this. maybe we’ve become too modern, too obsessed with self-worth and equality that we don’t allow ourselves to love til such standards. lots of people would want to make their SO happy as possible. being the wife in the guide doesn’t surprise me, but unsurprisingly it piqued the attention of many feminists and modern women. fathers and mothers have given so much to their children in the name of love, so why let modern rules stop you from loving your spouse wholeheartedly? thinking that loving too much will result in bigger heartbreaks later on is just akin to the pre-emptive strikes by the USA (i am very tempted to write in the past but unfortunately that is not true).

back to her. if i were an alpha male (and everyone knows every man has a bit of alpha male in them), she would make the perfect wife. she’d do the cooking and cleaning and cater to my every whim and fancy. of course, she would be unwaveringly loyal and devoted, and i would be the luckiest man alive, because it would seem that her very purpose for existing is for me. omg. i wouldn’t look for a girl like that, but to have one like that as a wife would be a bonus, no? why would anyone give up such a dedicated girlfriend is beyond my comprehension.

i am channelling whatever unhappiness i have into motivation! no more emoness for me, even if it does allows me to think deeper. i cannot allow myself to sink further into depression. come to think of it, those abused wives would probably also suffer from pent-up depression. hmm. so would people with high EQ. hope i can reach this month’s goal :D

p.s. blogging is indeed therapeutic. will try to blog regularly in future ^^

edit: I just read one of my (somewhat related) blog posts when I was fourteen. Haha it’s really interesting to see how my opinions have changed. /end edit