zerite.net

today i saw an old woman. i don’t know why my eyes fixed onto her, for she was so ordinary, so common, blending into the crowd on the mrt. then i saw this old photo she had in her transparent card case of sorts. it was sepia, and featured a young woman probably in her late teens or early twenties. everyone has their story, and it’s just so fascinating to know that everyone has their own secrets and heartaches, as well as their joys and happiness. everyone has their own unique purpose for living. you look at the girl tearing in the corner, and you know she has a story. you look at the guy smiling to himself and you know he has a story as well. be it the elderly woman who clings on to her old young photo or the young couple tangled up in each other opposite you, everyone has their story. i don’t know why people complain that autobiographies are boring, when you can learn the gist they learnt in their lifetime in a book. actually i don’t know how people can condense their life stories into chapters with one-word titles when all the beauty is in the details. all the little bits and pieces account for life, and although life so far hasn’t gone as smoothly as i hoped it would have, all remain precious to me and i wouldn’t have it any other way.

i’m letting go. the moment i clicked send on that email, i felt a wave of serenity and peace wash over me. learning to let go, learning to stop clinging on to the things that just weren’t meant to be. when you’re a toddler, you learn to give up your little blanket and your pacifier, things you’ve held so dearly to your heart. but there’s a time for everything to go, and there’re pastures we have yet to seek. only by giving up your security blanket can you venture forth into the real world and learn to be independent. you might cry and be depressed but this is all but permanent. i remember having to give up my bottle when i was a kid and crying for days. if things don’t mean much to you, it won’t hurt as much when you have to part with them. but you learn to cherish. you learn to treasure memories, and that at least you had them once. you’d lived it, tasted it, experienced it. and that’s really more than enough for me :) it’s better than hopelessly trying to make things work when everything has changed and deceive yourself into believing this is really what you want. with every sorrow comes a greater appreciation for happiness. and failures make the eventual victory sweeter.

working on myself for now. hope to change things for the better, and to put my words into action. that’s the trouble with us dreamers. plan and dream and take our own sweet time to do things. well i’m gonna be pro-active from now on, and start living life the way it should be lived.