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THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN

November2

OMG GO WATCH AVENUE Q GOGOGO RIGHT NOW and don’t read cuz got spoilerZZZ rerlee go watch byebye.

so crassic.

yes, halloween night, denise and i decided we were too cool (and old) for trick or treating (yes hollie i remember this time it’s not treat or tricking shaddup) and we went to AVENUE Q~ thanks for the brownie :D i think it tasted better squashed hehe. who wants to watch cinderella (omg lea salonga think mulanprincessjasminemisssaigon) in january!!!

anyway. avenue q was hilarious. and i really didn’t expect there to be a christmas eve character hahaha. damn funny la like yitping says, sesame street for adults. of course, i wanted to see aiza seguerra (who is lesbian, btw), who was playing gary coleman, but the rest of the cast were mindblowingly awesome as well. yea i have great vocab, go fly a kite. i wanted to get the t-shirt that said THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN hahaha so funny i thinkall girls would have gone through what kate monster had gone through. and i seriously regret putting that on my msn yesterday because not less than 8 guys told me it’s true wtf. thank god i didn’t get that t-shirt in the end lol. as usual though, i left with the soundtrack :D (bought not stole sheesh go away!)

avenue q was kinda corny actually; college-grad searching for purpose and shit. but it also dealt with issues like racism (I SO AGREE) and homosexualism in a very humourous way. joel trinidad (trekkie monster, nicky) is soooo versatile, and so is carla guevara-laforteza (srsly if u’re famous please get a shorter name kthx see why madonna/rihanna is so popular?) who played kate monster/lucy the slut. god i love filippinos why are they so talented. someone intro me a filippino guy kthx. and the beaches there are among the best in the world no???

i love how they use muppets to act out the whole thing, cuz it wld have been a lot more censored and less funny if real people acted. i love how they state ‘parent advisory: puppet nudity on stage’ on the front of the programme hee. it’s so crude it’s so realistic. not all fairy tales and overexpressed emotions (wtf so many emotions just drown yourself already) aka other classic broadway shows. everyone’s being PC and no you can’t do this or that but ave q just handled all these sensitive issues like a bitch handles her man: easy peasy. clever display of irony, puns, backhanded compliments, toilet humour etc embedded all throughout the show all contributed to great comic effect. when they said misery in other people’s happiness i already thought schadenfraude and was therefore laughing out of place =.= and yes, misery in others’ happiness, german indeed (right ms deutsch-bag?)

ohh, digress. i was on the phone with l yesterday and he said “it takes two hands to clap” and i answered “yea it takes two people to fuck” wtf. hahahahahahh true what!! at least two people ma, same concept as the hands one. you can diy 3x a day but all you’re doing is fucking yourself, and no, no-one considers that to be sex wtf. i’m so proud of myself *wipes tears* haha i love talking with l he’s so cute la like a little kid actually i think i made him say too many wtfs already eh cannot liddis ok good little doggies boys cannot swear so much hahaha. i have to say back in sec 2 bio class i couldn’t stop laughing at the stoma diagram. what? i can’t be the only one! right?? O_O no kittyrat i’m not crude ok. i’m sugar and spice and everything nice *blink blink* =D

oh yah there were a bunch of i dunno, women who looked like spg without the actual angmoh hanging off their arms. denise asked: “are we underdressed or are they overdressed?” “they’re definitely underdressed.” they just couldn’t keep their comments to themselves and had to share them with the entire stall. ok it was probably just one woman. whatever. hahaha.

and last night. MUSIC MAN *cue screams*. *blinks at unmoved faces* hello? 3 words. WANG LEE HOM. i was 60% deaf after the concert ended i tell ya. i will talk about this in another entry lah but ahhh! just let me see penny tai and lea salonga live and i tell you i can die happy now wtf your head lah so easily satisfied i wouldn’t be me already hahahaha. ok nvm. =D but a bit ashamed la i was also being all fangirly. QUEL HORREUR! yea i’m joining the ranks of closet fangirls like doona and clairebear(actually not that closet :P).

and and and. have i converted you to love pearls before swine already? no? then you suck. here’s another one. who cannot love pig tell me??? i keel you. (but then again i heart rat the crocs(who like kenny southpark always die but always reappear anyway) goat zeeba guard duck and even stephan pastis all of them la <3)

c’est la vie. i know i’m not supposed to talk about it anymore, but i think i finally understand why he did what he did. from today onwards i will cease to hurt. i know the hurt that i caused was far more damaging, but if only he was willing to listen, he will know that i never did anything, or even thought of doing anything to hurt him. i would never, in a million years, do such a thing to someone i love so much. but it’s too late for regrets, and i certainly cannot expect to keep getting second chances. i just hoped, against hope probably, that i could have a chance to explain myself. but i never did. once again, when someone makes the conscious decision to leave your life, you have no say in it. so yes, c’est la vie. what can we do but get used to it? sure, there’s the inevitable pain, but it goes away eventually. but your love never dies. when a loved one leaves you, you find that your love does not leave with him/her. but he/she’s already gone, and there is nothing left to do but get over it. my conscience is clear, but it doesn’t matter to him. he refuses to listen, c’est la vie. i have no other choice but to walk on alone. someone whom you thought knew you, someone whom you thought you could spend your life with, was really someone who couldn’t trust you at all, someone who can’t even listen to what you have to say. relationships end not because love dies, but because one party has decided that it’s over. and the other just has to accept it.

c’est la vie.

LOVE NO ENOUGH

August11

this entry is about one and a half weeks overdue, je suis très désolée.

yea, i’ve watched it twice. the most recent movies i’ve watched are the dark night, money no enough 2 and the mummy (3). i guess the hype in the blogosphere was too much and i didn’t really think tdk was that interesting. in fact it was conversely very boring. heath ledger reminded me of johnny depp and was probably the best part of the movie. i’m sorry but, why does this show have handsome actors but an ugly main actress? a whole lot of hooha/secrecy superhero shit that reminded me of the-slightly-more interesting-iron-man but it can NEVER, i repeat, NEVA, be compared to the stuff of spidey.

the mummy was bad beyond belief. national treasure-esque but boring as hell. sure the trailer definitely piqued my attention, the plot was interesting but nothing else was. my mind kept wandering all over the place when i watched it ahem, and the movie wasn’t even worthy of my full attention. next.

money no enough 2. honestly i didn’t think i would like it. the first movie was cringe-worthy, and the 2nd one is really made out of the same mould. jack neo always make the same kind of movies, the ones that capitalises on simple, common human emotions (or if i may, in the words of a certain melissalam, peasant emotions) and makes a whole movie that touch commonfolk, something that singaporeans can identify with. movies like i not stupid or home run were very, very embarrassing to say the least. money no enough 2 does not fall outside this genre; it is like just all the other singaporean films. however it does give you your money’s worth. what neo has portrayed are very raw emotions and troubles faced by many in our society today, and he has certainly milked it for all it’s worth. so yeah, i’ll give him credit - it’s very real, very funny and very touching, in a kind of ah beng way. i admit, i think his movies are worth watching purely because they epitomise the thinking of the older generation of chinese singaporeans, and it’s something close to my heart.

after watching it, i just had to take my ‘mama’ to see it too. i knew she’d enjoy it. i didn’t know, however, it’s been 10 years since she’d last seen a movie. i really loved watching it with her, seeing her teary eyes when the storyline hit close to home or when something tugged on a heartstring, hearing her hearty laughter when the hokkien jokes take the spotlight, getting a whiff of that familiar soap and holding on to her arm for warmth and comfort. i haven’t been very nice to her, and given that i haven’t exactly been home much at all, i haven’t seen much of her too, much less go out with her. i know she loves me and treats me like her own kid, and ahem contrary to popular beliefs, i’m not that unfilial.

i just signed up for the 30 hour famine. have never joined it before despite knowing about it for years now. actually i don’t really understand the purpose, but i guess empathy does strike you hard when you experience hunger yourself. shit what have i done oh no.

p.s. please stop saying that i sound like rainie yang. i consider that an insult. I DON’T NEED TO ACT CUTE OK I’M SO CUTE DDI WTF

posted under Reviews | 4 Comments »

NOT SO NiCE BUS

May21

would be a heck of an understatement.

kl trip was quite bad, but i managed to do lots of shopping, and made new friends, so all’s good. anyway i’m back home in singapore now, just waiting to see when i have to go back to penang.

anyway. nice bus ranks with the worst coach buses i’ve ever taken. granted, it’s masqueraded as a luxury bus based on its price (which is probably the most expensive from kl to sg) and the fact it has something like a steward, but it is really worse than one of those buses i take from penang. like eltabina or konsortium. even causeway express is so much better. chien, you and your great recommendations. i took the 12.30pm nice ++ bus from old ktm stesen to singapore on 20th may. (i would really give it a horrible ++ rating.)

number one. there is no leg space. the elderly woman in front of me reclined her chair, and yay, no space. obviously if i’m taking a coach, i’ll have a lot of luggage. since you have a powerpoint in your bus (one plus point, yes, but what’s the point if it’s too cramped to use your laptop?), you should expect that people will bring laptops on your bus. well guess what, the woman almost crushed my laptop when she reclined her seat. mind you, my seat was already reclined, aka it was the maximum space i could get. and guess what? there is no overhead compartment to stow your handcarry. so all your stuff is with you on your seat. great minus point here since i was carrying a lot of things. sure, it’s okay if you don’t carry a lot of stuff, but when i travel inter-state or inter-nation, i would expect that people do have luggage and handcarry.

number two. compare this bus to other luxury buses WAY below their price. there is simply no comparison. this is a 26-seater, and it’s already the most luxurious bus they have. there is simply no comparing this to a 18-seater because let’s face it, this bus rides like a normal 40-seater coach bus. it’s so uncomfortable on the seat, if there was a railing i’d rather stand and hold on to it.

number three. price. of course. for the price of 80 ringgit (or more, i can’t really remember) a ticket, you would expect this to be a much better busride than the other cheaper alternatives. wrong. please take other buses that are priced at less than rm30, because you will get the same level of comfort.

number four. it is a direct bus. now this may seem like a plus point for many people, but for me, it is a big no-no. this means i have to get down at a certain point, because it will not stop anywhere else. and they take the second link, so you can’t just run off at woodlands. the problem with singapore is that coach buses do not have fixed points to stop at. it’s not like oh, penang you always go to both butterworth jeti and sungai nibong bas stesen. oh kl, it’s more often than not puduraya. in singapore, you can stop at a variety of places. there’s golden mile complex, boon lay shopping centre, copthorne orchid hotel, that place at lavender which i don’t know its name etc. and there are two ways. if you go by second link, you cannot stop there and take a cab like you can via woodlands.

number five. in-bus entertainment. well there was no selection. there were about two working channels, and only one movie was being played. you cannot choose the movie to watch, and there are absolutely no games to play. no console, no games. i didn’t recognise the movie, and the screen was jumping like crazy, not unlike two crazy humping rabbits, so i didn’t watch the movie. i wouldn’t want to subject my eyes to that kind of torture. not to mention the small screen.

number six. nice bus advertises that it has a host (like the air stewardess-equivalent) that serves you ‘free’ coffee and food. i don’t know about you, but i’d rather not pay rm50 for a host to serve me stale pastry and cheap coffee. sure, the driver helps put your luggage into storage, but so do many drivers of cheaper coaches. the driver could not store my luggage properly yesterday and it fell. if you don’t have strength, let me do it lah. don’t so gey kiang. i don’t want you to break your back, or worse, anything inside okay?

lol. snigger snigger.

conclusion. TOTAL RIP OFF. please take other buses like five stars, aeroline, transtar or grassland. i personally recommend five stars’ 18-seater. taking it from singapore to penang takes luxury to a new level. in a record nine hours. normally if it were a normal coach that cost less than rm30 i wouldn’t have bothered typing this. but this is a rip off that costs rm80+. read the comments here to read more on their substandard service and inflated prices. ok this is a very lopsided review, but you know what, i really couldn’t find anything good about it, hard as i tried.

posted under Reviews | 1 Comment »

003 * 28 STORIES OF AIDS IN AFRICA

June8

AIDS – we’ve all heard of it - the staggering figures of infections throughout the world, how to prevent the spread and the need to raise awareness for the disease – our knowledge of AIDS are only to this extent. There is no real need for anyone who is out of the know to want to find out more about AIDS, who it affects and what happens after people are affected. This is the first step to generating an interest about AIDS and only when enough people are concerned will something actually be done about it. Nolen’s book has given the masses 28 chilling accounts of AIDS patients’ encounters with AIDS, and how it has affected their lives. It gives the readers a personal insight as to how this disease has affected them on a one-to-one level.

“People die in their houses because they know that if they go to the hospital there is no one there – they die without even a little Tylenol to relieve that pain because they can’t even afford that.” I read this line with a stinging in my heart. It is truly heartrending to know the conditions of the healthcare industries in Africa.

This book raises many questions that speak to us and our conscience, ultimately. Why is it that the epidemic was first detected it was in the US, and only after several testings did they find it rampant in Africa, where it first emerged? The level of treatment in a First-world and a Third-World country is so disparate that it brings to mind the phrase that ‘some animals are more equal than others’. Does being born in another country deny one of basic human rights that people in First World countries expect? What is being done about AIDS in Africa, and how much are people willing to give to solve ‘someone else’s problem’? Is it really someone else’s problem? How altruistic can we really be? Shouldn’t companies receive hard-earned money for their years of research to find an antiretroviral drug? How much of a social responsibility do we have to give to rebuild someone else’s country?

Indeed, selfish questions like some above have added to the full-blown epidemic of AIDS in Africa. This is a pressing problem that requires intervention immediately, and even though organisations such as Médecins Sans Frontières (MSF) have stepped in to aid with the HIV crisis, there still is much to be done.

Every single story plays on the emotions of the reader – tugging at our heartstrings and making us wonder what indeed is being done for most of the 28 people and similar patients of HIV. Yet a lot of these 28 are strong advocates that have changed the mindsets not only for the people in Africa but also our mindsets as readers. If I were to get HIV, my first thought would be “How long till I die”, but these people possess a tenacity that did not hold them back from accomplishing what they set out to do, or what they can do. People in positions of high authority came out of the shadow and shared how they contracted HIV, and became the best people to speak about prevention. Others such as nurses or doctors work tirelessly to help infected patients in their own ways. Personally, I see how God has been working through many of these patients and what purpose they served. Africa consists of countries with corrupted governments, low standards of living and education, and now epidemics of HIV that does not seem likely to ease up if people still engage in casual sex without any protection. People are also unwilling to speak up and step out to share their story, which is understandable. Even in 2005, when 800 people a day died of AIDS in South Africa, no one liked to say the word. HIV-positive patients who have spoken out are seen in a different light – “the hate and hostility [Winstone] had encountered in his twelve years of living openly with the disease”. As Nelson Mandela said, “Let us give publicity to HIV/AIDS and not hide it, because the only way to make it appear like a normal illness, like TB, like cancer, is always to come out and to say somebody has died because of HIV. And people will stop regarding it as something extraordinary.” Sadly, the shame of the disease is still so great that many continue to deny any possibility that they could be infected even as they display the symptoms, leading to even more infections.

“There are three main external variables in the AIDS equation debt: debt, aid and trade.” This is a vicious cycle that has left much of Africa devastated. Debt has left reserves high and dry, aid has been insufficient and poorly put to use, trade has been susceptible to exploitation (such as sweatshops by U.S. firms such as Nike and Gap). This has left Africa in ruins. Low wages, the very real possibility of contracting HIV and the condition Africa is in has led to the drain of medical personnel to other developed countries such as England. There are not enough people to handle the epidemic. Malawi “lost the equivalent of a whole year of graduates from its nursing colleges to the United Kingdom, and many of those who stayed behind deserted the public system… It wasn’t hard to understand why: the massive workload, the appalling conditions (few hospitals can keep latex gloves in stock, for example), the fact that before ARVs there was nothing they could do for most patients – all that for $100 a month?”

All over Africa there are people with HIV, who, because of cost or logistics, cannot get access to the medicines that would keep them alive. However there are also well-educated, gainfully employed people in Zimbabwe who cannot afford the drugs because the prices have been pushed entirely out of reach by rampant inflation. Moleen knew “she was dying because of an entirely artificial crisis, created by a megalomaniac president and perpetuated by the failure of other African leaders and the rest of the world to intervene.” The solution now is not to try to change the African government, but like the direct need of doctors, implement policies to intervene in the crisis. Although new generations of politicians and healthcare personnel have to be trained and raised, the more pressing problems have to be solved by foreign intervention.

Much of the discussion about the politics of AIDS in Africa focuses on the response and lack thereof of the West, but domestic African policies is just as pivotal. The first response towards the West’s claim was one of denial, and cited racism as a purpose. The governments, especially in South Africa have failed to embrace AIDS. Mbeki, for example, was against ARVs, and suggested that the furor around AIDs was a façade drawing attention away from inequity questions. He had let racism cloud his mind and failed to recognize what his country desperately needs. As Zackie puts it, you cannot let other people’s perceptions and prejudices draw your policy. “There is no doubt that strong leadership is the key to any effective response in the war against HIV… When the top person is committed, the response is much more effective.”
Nelson Mandela’s sharing of his son’s having AIDS made AIDS ‘all a bit more normal, a little less shameful’. The first step is to not be ashamed of your family member who has AIDS – how he will disgrace your family name – but to come to terms with the disease and accept him. Ironically, Mandela did not do much to help or publicise AIDS when he was in office. He could have done so much to help, but he did not. “In 199 ways, he was our country’s savior. In the 200th way, he was not.” The epidemic signifies a human struggle, a failure of leadership (“When historians write about HIV/AIDS, when they write about this period in time, they will ask – ‘Where were the leaders of Africa?’ “)

Ida, one of the ‘savviest, most dynamic AIDS educators’ in Africa had HIV. Doctors, nurses, military personnel, highly educated people who should have known better have contracted HIV and AIDS. Yet the solution to this problem is not quarantine, like we would normally avoid people who confessed what they were a victim of HIV. The social stigma of HIV and AIDS will always be present, but proper education should reach out to the masses to dispel this connotation. Avoidance and stigma show a lack of knowledge and a character that shows the ignorance and narrow-mindedness of the people. Diseases are aplenty in the world, and it would be difficult to not know someone who has an incurable disease even today. Avoidance is not the answer, but rather acceptance and encouragement.

We learn how HIV has affected these people’s lives, and how they try hard to live a normal life. For example, Andualem married an HIV-positive wife and tried to minimise the risk of his child being born with HIV. If I were him, I would give up all thoughts of living, much less marriage or offspring. Some of these accounts display extraordinary courage that some might term selfish. But to me, it is a brave attempt to carry on their lives in the most normal way as possible. Getting the disease is not the end of the world, but a mere turning point. It is up to the individual to decide if this turning point is for better or for worse.

What these people possess are optimistic spirits that proclaim: “A world without AIDS may not happen in our lifetime, but it is possible.” It is one thing to find hope, but another to find hope among such despair and chaos amidst a country with an AIDS epidemic, corrupted government and immorality. Yet as Ibrahim Umoru, who benefited from MSF’s programme puts, “I was a lucky man, but what about everyone else?” We see the lack of knowledge about HIV and AIDS even in Africa herself. We would expect the Africans, who have been most heavily hit by this epidemic, to know much more about HIV than other people out of the loop, especially when it is so close to home. Yet myths and lies such as using condoms will exacerbate the spread of HIV and fat girls do not have HIV unveil the lack of awareness where it is much needed. Religious actions such as condemning the use of condoms in the Catholic faith only serve to worsen the condition of HIV. The ‘A’ and ‘B’ of the ‘ABC’s of protection does not help to alleviate the condition in Africa now given the normal social practices. Even by themselves, ‘A’ and ‘B’ contradict with ‘C’. These are mixed signals that can only confuse the masses in Africa. There has to be a united way of spreading unified information.

One of the stories that touched me deeply was the short but moving story of Mpho. She did not indulge in unprotected sex, she did not deserve HIV or AIDs in any way – she was just twelve. ‘Virgin wives who waited 34 years’ to have sex on their marriage night had HIV, patients who were unwittingly infected with unsterilised needles in the hospital contracted HIV … these people did not deserve to get HIV. Yet they live in a society where HIV is prevalent and they can do nothing about it. Every single day people in Africa live with a higher risk of being exposed to the disease, either through their partners or through shared needles.

Women also get HIV by being with their husbands, voluntarily or not. In the case of Morolake, she had sex with her husband to comfort him although he was confirmed to have HIV. Divorce is almost unheard of in their society, and even if the husband is infidel or marries 2 other wives, divorce is not an option. Her fate is sealed if her husband contracts HIV. “Socially, culturally, religiously, everything around you screams ‘No’ to divorce.” Women make up the bulk of AIDS victims as biologically; they have a larger surface area of the mucosal cells which HIV attaches to. Their genital tissues are also much more likely to tear during sex. “Yet a toxic mix of culture, religion and economics often leaves women unable to do anything about that risk.” Many women also have to exchange sex for trade, right to pass and food. In a society where women’s rights are not widely recognised, it is difficult for a woman to escape this fate of being stricken with HIV and AIDS. There are many areas that ‘this global travesty’ can be relieved, and there has to be a multi-pronged approach to this epidemic. Ultimately it’s not only curing a continent of AIDS or HIV, but also treating the problems that are so deeply rooted in the societies, the societal norms, the leadership and so much more.

The epilogue ends with “Each day in Africa, 5,500 people die of HIV/AIDS – a treatable, preventable illness. We have twenty-eight million reasons to act.” Indeed, this is what Nolen’s book strives to portray. She uses real-life stories to convince people that something has to be done. Each one of the 28 stories speaks for itself. She not only shows us the gravity of the situation, but also why she risks her life to do her job in dangerous Africa and what has to be done to salvage what seems like a hopeless case at standing. All in all, 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa is a plea for something effective to be done, an educational tool to equip people everywhere with awareness and knowledge of how HIV/AIDS has affected patients’ lives, and a strong question for mankind as to what we are really doing to our world. Can we really sit back and watch another 28 million people die before action is taken?

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